Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Feeling Out the Colors Again

Having discarded art for awhile, the feeling of picking it up again is as that of an unused muscle, flabby and strange. The use of space and color feels awkward and slow. In a way it's a relief, knowing that to be good at anything takes time. Life really is anything you pick and you create that life around what you have selected. 

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Starting Fresh with a Global Pandemic

I left the desert and came the green northwest and dove into a new job, promptly drowning myself with my commitment to learning the work and world and committing fully to it's challenges. 

This global pandemic has left me in the fascinating moment of revisiting old parts of self and trying to recall what I want or who I am or where I'm going. 

It seems to lure me with the most horrible parts of myself- obsessions run wild and rampant. I dive headfirst into wine or television or and more and or. My life focus of having goals with purpose and meaning askew.

It seems to lure me with the best parts of myself - I've committed time to writing and artwork, and spend every day doing a little of something. Old sense of self drifts forward and I recall that 5 minutes of pure silence- no phone, no computer, no tv, no podcast - it is pure bliss. I can witness spring happening, watching out my window as the soft colors build back into the true colors that herald summer. 

This is a good time to start fresh and be something more complete as a person for all of us. What has become lost returns - philosophy, time of contemplation, thinking independently and not being persuaded by the endless messaging thrown at us all in the guise of intellect and confidence. 

Be yourself.