Humility

Humility

My brain sunk down in the gutter
Again
stinking water streaming past
carcasses of thoughts
beliefs that I cling to in desperation
trying to make it all worthwhile
Jettisoned like the material nonsense that they are

What it means to live
to be alive
To exist in a time and place that matters
Ignoring these things
Is Madness
Up is down, down is up
Nothing can ever be right
No matter how long and hard
I try

I skin myself
Long strips of flesh exposed
The purest form of agony
Can't you see how authentic I am
How much I've learned
How much I've listened
How much I've become

I know other refuges
We whisper to each other
This is the right path
This is the only path
The demon of success whispers
With us
You've worked hard to walk
The path of triumph

Yet I find myself in the stinking gutter
Brain deep as it can go
In the filthy muck
Again
Now dipping exposed flesh
Too

This feels wrong

Return to the start point
Onehundredandeightydegreesdifference
Expose my true self
My skin is on
My flesh returned to the inside
Where it belongs
My clothes are on
I am calm
Oh... this is who I am ?

I blush.

I thought the benefit was
The higher way
The self- learning
The listening
The becoming
But I was...
Lost

I have been lost.

I am Humbled.
Humility,was the lesson.

This, then, is finally the beginning.